Writing Hard Scenes That Carry Real Emotion

If you’ve ever hit a section in your story that made you want to close your laptop and walk away, you’re not alone. Writing hard scenes—grief, shame, trauma, heartbreak—takes something out of us. I’ve talked to so many writers over the years, across genres and stages of the journey, and this comes up again and again: how do you write the emotional parts without spiraling?

There’s no one right answer. But in my experience, having a plan for how to approach emotionally intense material makes all the difference.

Why I Avoid Writing Emotionally Hard Scenes (And Maybe You Do Too)

For many of us, there’s a voice in our head that says: “No one wants to hear this.” Or, “This is too much.” Or even, “Don’t be whiny.”

I was raised with a “suck it up and get it done” mentality. Describing emotional experiences didn’t come naturally—and honestly, it’s still the hardest part of my writing process. But I’ve learned that emotional writing is what gives a story heart. A well-structured plot can move a story forward, but it’s the emotional scenes that make a reader feel it.

What It Feels Like to Write the Hard Scenes

One writer in our community described revising her novel and reaching the last few chapters, only to feel sick at the thought of digging into the emotional beats. “It’s like the last mile of a marathon,” she said. “I know it matters. I know it will make the book better. But it’s exhausting.”

I call that “last mile stuff.” Those little emotional additions that elevate a story from passable to powerful. Often, it’s just a few key sentences, but they have to be exactly right. And sometimes those few sentences are the ones I avoid the longest.

I’ve had scenes where I knew exactly what was needed—and I still danced around them. I’d write everything but the moment that hurt. Eventually, I circle back and handle it, but not without preparation.

Writing Hard Scenes Without Hurting Yourself

There’s actual research to support this approach. Dr. James W. Pennebaker, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, has conducted extensive studies on what he calls “expressive writing”—writing about emotional experiences. His findings show that when people write about difficult topics in a safe and intentional way, it can lead to better emotional and even physical health.

According to a Harvard Health article summarizing Pennebaker’s work, those benefits are most powerful when writers don’t push themselves too hard, too fast. Taking your time and layering your emotional truth onto the page in manageable stages can actually be more effective—and more sustainable—than diving in all at once.

Here’s what I’ve learned: you don’t have to dive in all at once. Think of emotionally intense scenes as something you can approach in layers. In draft one, sketch the shape of what’s happening. In draft two, add tone and texture. When you feel ready—and only then—go deeper.

Treat these emotionally charged scenes as something you build over time, not something you need to bleed onto the page in one go. That space gives you more control, and often, more clarity.

Some writers I know will write a placeholder in their draft—something like, “insert emotional moment here”—and only come back to it when they’re ready. That’s not avoidance. That’s pacing yourself.

How I Write Emotionally Difficult Scenes (Without Burning Out)

Here are a few strategies I’ve developed over the years, and that often come up in our community conversations:

• Name what you’re avoiding. Say it out loud. Sometimes I’ll literally write a note in the margin: “This is the hard part.”
• Write it fast and messy—then walk away. You don’t have to get it right the first time. Just get it out.
• Let yourself feel it. If you cry or clench your jaw while writing—it’s okay (in fact, it’s probably a sign that you’re capturing some good emotions on the page). That reaction is part of the process.
• Talk to someone about it. A writing buddy. A therapist. Someone who can hold space while you work through it.
• Create a post-writing ritual. After I write something particularly hard, I go for a walk, take a shower, or put on a favorite playlist. Something to remind myself that I’m okay.

And always know: you are not obligated to write about every painful thing that’s ever happened to you. But if you choose to, honor it by writing with care—for your reader and for yourself.

Why Writing Emotional Scenes Matters

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” – Maya Angelou

When we allow emotional truth to land on the page, something shifts—not just for the reader, but for us as writers. It’s vulnerable. It’s brave. And it often becomes the part of the story that readers remember most.

Personally, I want to write stories with emotional heart. And that means I have to go back and write the sentences I keep avoiding. Not always right away. Not every day. But eventually. That’s where the good stuff lives.

I’ve seen this in every genre—from memoirists writing about childhood trauma to thriller writers digging into grief. Readers connect with emotion. It’s what brings a story to life. So even if you write fantasy or historical fiction or speculative worlds, know that the emotional core is what makes it real.

One of the most powerful things I’ve learned is this: you don’t have to do it alone—and having support can make all the difference.

What’s the hardest emotionally intense scene you’ve ever written? Or what are you avoiding right now?

If those difficult scenes have you stuck, these articles might help you find a way through.
👉 Writing Hard Scenes
👉 Avoiding Difficult Scenes

Because more often than not, the scenes we resist are where the real story lives.