One of the more annoying side effects of pregnancy, at least in my experience, is the way it just kills any spark of ferocity that was firing in my brain. Usually I am the kind of woman who likes to make a little good-natured trouble, to talk back, or simply do things the way I like to do them. It’s no real mystery then that my main character has these tendencies in abundance.
Lately though, I find myself driving the speed limit, crossing at cross walks, and generally being careful. I suppose this is a good thing. It’s not just me walking around in this body after all, but I find it really annoying. I just don’t feel fierce, and it’s coming through in my writing.
What to do? Well, thankfully I only have a few more days of this pregnancy business left to go (8 at the most, before my doc wants to induce, and I intend to let her). So my plan right now is to suck it up, wait it out, and forgive myself for not writing for a few days. Once the little guy is on the outside we can start living our own lives – him as the precious and adorable little baby boy, and me as the loving mommy who also likes to kick a little ass from time to time. It’s a shift I’m ready to make.
In the meantime, I’m taking solace in a little Liz Phair, played loudly when no one else is around. The second half of “Exit to Guyville” was a delicious little sampler of the me I’m missing. This blog is intended for all ages, so I won’t quote Ms. Phair here, but if you know the album, you know what I’m talking about. Three cheers for loud mouthed women everywhere!
Leave a Reply