Some bloggers are very formal, sticking to a specific topic and keeping it very professional. Some have made a profession out of being very personable, of sharing positively every damn little ting that pops into their heads.
Because I know there is no such things as privacy on the internet, I’ve always kept things on the professional side. When I do rant, I tend to make names and places anonymous. The thing is, I’ve come to realize lately that the blogs I enjoy reading are the ones that occasionally dip into over sharing, the ones that actually let lose and tell it like it is.
Well here goes nothing.
In my last post I talked about how I was feeling so stressed that I broke down crying at my writer’s group. Well, truth be told, that was completely non-writing-related stress. My three month old baby boy has been having some health problems, and the doctors were having trouble determining what was causing them. This after a rough pregnancy (I was on bed rest for three months), laboring for 20 hours with a faulty epidural, and then having to go home without my baby (who spent two weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit). Things have pretty fucking challenging around here since, oh, about August of last year.
To top it all off, my daughter seems particularly prone to accidents. Two weekends ago she rode a sled into a tree at full speed and landed herself in an ambulance to the ER in South Lake Tahoe.
I’m downright frazzled. And through this all I’ve been doing my damnedest to keep putting my fingers on the keyboard, to keep writing no matter what.
I think the reason I couldn’t bring myself to share all of this difficult stuff while it was happening was that it was just too scary. My writer brain has a field day with the what if’s, always jumping to the worst case scenarios.
Thankfully, as of Tuesday of last week my daughter’s double black eyes were beginning to heal. By Thursday we got the news that our little guy will recover fully and that his blood tests are in fact already showing signs of improvement. It’s looking like everything is going to be okay. But what if they weren’t? How on earth could I find the strength to blog about it? And furthermore, does the health status of my kids have any place on a blog about writing?
Insofar as it effects my writing, I suppose it does. So I’m adding a resolution to my list for 2011: practice bringing a bit of balance to my blog by sharing a more about my personal life.
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