I am a big believer in the idea that our lives (and our artistic pursuits) are richer when we embrace diversity. I strive in every one of my lectures, workshops, and coaching sessions to create a welcoming and safe place for all writers.
To that end, I use the following Agreements for Community Interactions with all of my writers, so that we might work together, even when disagreements arise, to be respectful and productive members of the writing community.
Agreements for Community Interactions*
- Try It On: Be willing to “try on” new ideas, or ways of doing things that might not be what you prefer or are familiar with.
- Resist “Othering”: If someone in the group looks or sounds different from you, resist the urge to call out their differences by asking questions about their heritage/sexual orientation/socioeconomic background etc. Instead, focus on what you have in common (for instance, writing). If someone wants to offer up personal information about themselves, let them do so in their own time.
- Practice Self Focus: Attend to and speak about your own experiences and responses. Do not speak for a whole group or express assumptions about the experience of others.
- Understand The Difference Between Intent & Impact: Try to understand and acknowledge impact. Denying the impact of something said by focusing on intent is often more destructive than the initial interaction.
- Practice “Both / And”: When speaking, substitute “and” for “but.” This practice acknowledges and honors multiple realities.
- Practice giving skillful feedback: When it comes to writing, this means refraining from phrases such as “this didn’t work for me.” Instead, dig a little deeper and figure out what precisely didn’t work (passive voice, meandering narration, etc.) and start there.
- Move Up / Move Back: Encourage full participation by all present. Take note of who is speaking and who is not. If you tend to speak often, consider “moving back” and vice versa.
- Practice Mindful Listening: Try to avoid planning what you’ll say as you listen to others. Be willing to be surprised, to learn something new. Listen with your whole self.
- Confidentiality: Take home learnings, but don’t identify anyone other than yourself, now or later. If you want to follow up with anyone regarding something they said during a session, ask first and respect their wishes.
- Right To Pass: You can say “I pass” if you don’t wish to speak.
*Adapted from the East Bay Meditation Center’s Agreements for Multicultural Interactions